Marriage Goals for the New Year: 40 Ideas You’ll Keep

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Good marriage goals for the new year are small, specific and shared: “a phone-free dinner three nights a week” works better than “communicate more.” Pick two or three from the list below, write them down together, and check in every few months. Here are 40 ideas grouped by area, plus a simple plan for setting and keeping them.

How to set marriage goals together

Treat it as a date, not a meeting. Grab a drink, a snack and a notebook, then follow these steps:

1. Look back first. Each share your favorite moment from last year and one thing that was hard.
2. Name what you want more of. Fun? Rest? Closeness? Less money stress?
3. Choose two or three goals from different areas. More than that rarely sticks.
4. Make each goal specific. Who does what, how often, starting when?
5. Plan for obstacles. “If work gets busy, we’ll still do a 20-minute walk on Sundays.”
6. Set a check-in date for three months from now.

Connection goals

1. Have a date night every week, even if it’s at home after the kids are asleep.
2. Spend 10 minutes a day talking without phones, TV or logistics.
3. Greet each other properly when one of you comes home: a hug, a kiss, eye contact.
4. Go to bed at the same time at least four nights a week.
5. Try one new experience together every month.
6. Ask one deeper question each week, such as “What’s something you’ve been worrying about lately?”
7. Plan one overnight trip for just the two of you.
8. Learn something new about each other’s daily life, like Gottman’s idea of updating your “love maps.”

Wives looking for more practical habits can find them in our marriage advice for wives.

Communication goals

9. Use a gentle start-up for hard topics: “I feel… about… and I need…”
10. Hold a 30-minute weekly check-in about the calendar, money and how you’re both doing.
11. Take a 20-minute break when an argument gets heated, then come back to it.
12. Say thank you for one specific thing every day.
13. Notice and respond to each other’s small “bids for connection,” like a shared joke or a comment about the news.
14. Replace “you always” and “you never” with what you’d like instead.
15. Share one appreciation and one request at the end of each week.

Fun and play goals

16. Start a shared hobby, like hiking, cooking or a board game night.
17. Make a bucket list of 12 things and do one each month.
18. Laugh together on purpose: comedy nights, silly games, old home videos.
19. Plan a surprise for each other once a season.
20. Recreate your first date on your anniversary.
21. Have one fully lazy Sunday a month with no chores.

Intimacy and affection goals

22. Hug for at least 20 seconds every day.
23. Schedule time for intimacy if busy lives keep getting in the way.
24. Talk openly about what you each enjoy and want more of.
25. Hold hands on walks and in the car.
26. Write a love note once a month and hide it somewhere unexpected.

Money goals

27. Hold a monthly money date to review the budget.
28. Build an emergency fund with a monthly target amount.
29. Pay off one specific debt by a set date.
30. Agree on a “no-ask” spending limit for each partner.
31. Save toward one shared dream, such as a trip, a home project or a family goal.

A couples goal planner can hold your money targets, bucket list and check-in notes in one place.

Home and family goals

32. Divide household tasks fairly and revisit the split every three months.
33. Create a family evening routine that leaves you time alone afterward.
34. Get a regular sitter or swap babysitting with friends once a month.
35. Have honest talks about big decisions coming up, such as a move, a career change or whether to have another baby.
36. Protect one family-free weekend day each month for just the two of you.

Personal growth goals (that help your marriage)

37. Read a relationship book together and discuss one chapter a week.
38. Support each other’s individual goal, like a race, a course or a creative project.
39. See a couples counselor for a “checkup,” even when things are going fine.
40. If faith matters to you, pray, attend services or reflect together weekly.

Your marriage goals worksheet

Copy this table into a notebook or your phone:

Goal	What exactly we’ll do	How often	Who leads	Check-in date
Connection	e.g. phone-free dinners	3x a week	Both	March 31
Money	e.g. emergency fund	Monthly transfer	Partner A	March 31
Fun	e.g. bucket list	1 item a month	Partner B	March 31

Put the worksheet somewhere visible, like the fridge, or keep it in a shared couples journal next to your bed.

How to keep your goals on track all year

• Quarterly check-in: Every three months, ask: What’s working? What’s not? What do we change?
• Celebrate small wins. Finished one bucket-list item? Toast it.
• Shrink goals that slip. If weekly date nights are impossible, try every other week.
• Track progress with a simple wall calendar and a check mark for each date night or money date.
• Write it down. Couples who record their goals and wins have something to look back on. You can start a free private Love Diary to keep your goals, reflections and memories in one place.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Setting too many goals. Two or three is plenty.
• Choosing goals for your partner. Each goal should be something you both want.
• Being vague. “Be nicer” can’t be measured; “say thank you daily” can.
• Quitting after a slip. Missing a week isn’t failure. Just start again.

If you find the same conflicts keep returning, or one of you feels unsafe or controlled, reach out for support from a licensed therapist or, in any situation involving abuse, a domestic-violence hotline.

For more ways to build a strong relationship, explore our marriage guide. Couples in a later season may also like our empty nest marriage tips.

Frequently asked questions

What are good marriage goals for the new year?

Good marriage goals are specific and doable, such as a weekly date night, 10 phone-free minutes of talking each day, a monthly money date, a shared bucket list or a fair split of household chores. Choose two or three that reflect what you both want more of, and write down exactly how and how often you’ll do them.

How do you set goals as a married couple?

Set aside a relaxed evening, look back on the past year together, and name what you’d like more of. Choose two or three goals from different areas, make each one specific, plan for obstacles and agree on a check-in date. Writing the goals down makes them much easier to remember and review.

What are examples of marriage resolutions?

Examples include greeting each other with a hug every day, holding a weekly check-in, saying thank you daily, taking a 20-minute break when arguments heat up, paying off one debt, planning a trip for two and reading a relationship book together. The best resolutions are small habits you can repeat, not big one-off gestures.

How do you keep marriage goals on track all year?

Schedule a check-in every three months to review what’s working, celebrate small wins and adjust goals that are too ambitious. Keep your goals visible, track them on a calendar or journal, and don’t treat a missed week as failure. Simply restart the habit the next week.