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The first week after a breakup is about getting through, not getting over. What to do the first week after a breakup comes down to a few basics: eat, sleep and move a little each day, tell one or two people you trust, put distance between you and your ex, and avoid big decisions. Everything else can wait.
If you’re reading this in the first raw days, be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to be productive, wise or okay yet. You just need to get to next week.
Why the first week feels so hard
A breakup is a loss, and the first days often hit hardest. You might feel numb, panicky, exhausted, angry or all of them in one afternoon. Sleep may vanish, food may taste like nothing, and your phone may feel like a magnet.
This is a normal grief response. It usually eases with time, especially when you take care of the basics and limit contact.
Your first-week plan, day by day
Use this as a loose guide, not a test. If you only manage one thing from each day, that counts.
Day 1: Take care of your body
- Drink water and eat something simple, even toast or soup.
- Tell one person what happened. You could text: “We broke up today. I’m okay-ish, but could you check on me tonight?”
- Go to bed at a normal time, even if you lie awake.
Day 2: Create some distance
- Mute or archive your ex’s chat so it isn’t the first thing you see.
- Mute or unfollow their social media. You can decide about blocking later.
- Put photos and gifts in a box, out of sight.
Day 3: Get outside
- Take a walk, ideally in daylight and somewhere green.
- Shower and change clothes. It sounds small, but it helps you feel more like yourself.
- Make one plan for later in the week, even just coffee with a friend.
Day 4: Let the feelings out
- Write what you’re feeling without editing. Messy is fine.
- Cry if you need to. Put on a sad song on purpose and let it run its course.
- Write an unsent letter to your ex: everything you wish you could say.
A breakup recovery journal with simple prompts can help if a blank page feels like too much. You could also start a free private Love Diary to track how each day feels, so later you can see the progress you can’t feel yet.
Day 5: Handle the practical stuff
- If you lived together, agree on short-term arrangements and a time to talk about belongings.
- Sort shared accounts or passwords that can’t wait.
- Keep messages to your ex brief and practical: “Can I pick up my things on Saturday at 11?”
If you work with your ex, plan how you’ll handle meetings and shared spaces. Our guide to a breakup with a coworker covers this in detail.
Day 6: Spend time with people
- See a friend in person if you can, or call someone who makes you laugh.
- Let people help. Say yes when someone offers to bring dinner.
- Do one activity that isn’t about the breakup: a movie, a game, a class.
Day 7: Look back gently
- Notice anything that’s even slightly easier than Day 1.
- Write down three things that helped this week.
- Plan a simple routine for next week: wake time, one walk a day, two social plans.
Do and don’t: the first week
| Instead of… | Try this |
|---|---|
| Texting your ex at midnight | Write the message in a notebook and read it again in the morning |
| Scrolling their social media | Mute them, and give a friend your phone for the evening if needed |
| Drinking to numb the pain | A warm shower, a walk, or calling someone |
| Making big decisions (quitting, moving cities) | Waiting at least a few weeks before anything major |
| A rebound hookup | A night with friends who make you feel like yourself |
| Staying in bed all day | Getting up, even if you lie on the couch instead |
| Asking mutual friends about your ex | Asking those friends to keep news about them to themselves for now |
What to say to your ex this week
If you have to be in touch, keep it short, polite and focused on logistics. You don’t need to explain your feelings or relitigate the breakup.
- “I need some space right now, so I’m going to keep our messages to practical things.”
- “Thanks. I’ll drop the keys off on Thursday.”
If they reach out to talk about the relationship, you can say: “I’m not ready to talk about us right now. I’ll let you know if that changes.”
Looking after sleep and food
Sleep often goes first. Keep regular bedtimes, keep your phone out of reach at night, and try a calming wind-down like a podcast, a book or stretching. A soft contoured sleep mask can make it easier to rest if you’re napping during the day or waking at dawn.
If your appetite is gone, aim for small, easy foods every few hours: yogurt, soup, crackers, fruit, smoothies.
When the first week is more than normal grief
Some people need more than time and friends. Talk to a doctor or licensed therapist if:
- You can’t sleep or eat at all for several days.
- You can’t function at work or care for yourself or others.
- You feel hopeless most of the day, every day.
If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or contact local emergency services right away. If the relationship involved abuse and you don’t feel safe, contact a domestic-violence hotline.
After week one
The second week often still hurts, but most people find it slightly more manageable. Keep the routine going, keep distance from your ex, and add small things that bring you joy.
If the relationship lasted years, our guide on how to heal after a long-term relationship ends goes deeper. If it was never officially a relationship, see how to get over someone you never dated. For the full picture, read our complete breakup guide.
Frequently asked questions
What should you do the first week after a breakup?
Focus on basics: eat simple meals, protect your sleep, get outside and tell one or two trusted people. Create distance by muting your ex’s chat and social media, and put reminders out of sight. Let yourself feel it through writing or talking, and put off big decisions until you feel steadier.
What should you not do right after a breakup?
Try not to text your ex late at night, check their social media, drink to numb the pain, jump into a rebound or make major life decisions. These tend to restart the hurt or create new problems. Replace each urge with something gentler, like writing it down, calling a friend or going for a walk.
Is the first week after a breakup the hardest?
For many people, yes. The first days often bring the most intense shock, sadness and urges to reach out. But healing isn’t a straight line, and hard days can return later, especially around anniversaries. If the first week feels unbearable, reach out to a friend, doctor or therapist rather than waiting.
Should you go no contact right after a breakup?
In most cases, yes. A period of no contact, such as 30 days, gives your emotions room to settle and stops the hope-and-hurt cycle. If you share children, work or a home, keep contact brief and focused only on logistics. No contact isn’t a punishment; it’s protection for your healing.